I Went a Week Without Apologizing To Customers—Here’s How It Went (#13)
The case against saying sorry, and what I do instead. [Templates Included]
GM. This is NLCS. The tactical newsletter that will transform you into an influential communicator with your customers, and colleagues in as little as five minutes a week.
Here’s what I got for you today:
- 3 incredible things that happened after I stopped apologizing for mistakes I wasn't responsible for
What I’m learning:
I used to always say I was sorry.
"Sorry for the late response," even though I replied an hour later. I kept saying "I'm sorry" to show concern and empathy, but I started to notice that every time I did this, it would backfire. Either the customer didn't care enough to respond to the apology, or they blamed me even more for the problems.
So I decided to stop apologizing, and it changed my life -
1. Customers saw me as a leader because I recognized that they didn't want a phony apology; instead, they wanted me to solve their problems.
Before you label me a heartless jerk, hear me out.
I take rejection very personally. When something goes wrong, I assume the additional responsibility of attempting to fix it, even if I am unable to. When I was in a sales role at LinkedIn, a customer's "no, not now" would cause my chest to tighten and my body to freeze. It affected both my performance and my emotions. I expended so much unnecessary energy worrying about these shortcomings. I had to change.
And research shows I made the right decision.
2. To communicate effectively, I used "the labor effect." People are more likely to trust and value results when they are shown to them after a delay and alongside the work that is being done for them.
So if a client sent me an email, "We need to get on the phone right away. This can't happen. I need this to be fixed right away!"
When a customer asked for help with a technical problem and I couldn't bring in a technical engineer right away because of company policy, I used the labor effect to get rid of any hostility.
Client: "We need to get on the phone right away. This can't happen. I need this to be fixed right away!"
My response:
After sending the message on the right hand side, clients would reply back “Thank you so much!!” and viewed me as a trusted advisor.
3. I replaced “I’m sorry” with “Thank you” and I felt lighter
Yikes, let me stop myself before I bring out the “Live, Love, Laugh” quotes, and plaster this newsletter like a canvas scattered throughout Target, but it’s true.
Reframing the things I say has allowed me to move customers from a point of no return to extending my business's services for another year.
Trivia time: Jack Black switched the part in his hair from left to right depending on whether he was playing Dewey Finn or Ned Schneebly? What movie am I?
[Answer’s at the bottom]
NLCS Finds
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Trivia Answer
School of Rock.
I love this movie.
Small lessons in there about the art of effective communication.
That’s a wrap up for this week though -
