How to Win Arguments
The tips I learned from Thurgood Marshall to win more arguments and influence like a lawyer
Hey friend. This is NLCS. The tactical newsletter where we study the world's best leaders, writers, marketers, and psychologists. Why? Because we break apart the frameworks they use so that you can use the same ones to improve your communication efforts with customer and colleagues in less than 5 minutes a week.
American public schools once legally allowed racial segregation.
But in 1954 - Thurgood Marshall - won Brown v. Board of Education. Marshall won the case showing that segregation in schools was unconstitutional.
Then 13 years later, Marshall became the first African-American Supreme Court Justice.
He left quite a legacy, but *HOW* he argued and influenced people warranted its own story.
These two short stories demonstrate how Thurgood Marshall skillfully won his arguments and what we can learn from him to win more arguments in our everyday lives, and become influential communicators.
Here’s a breakdown:
The value of an argument flip
Humans are self-centered. Instead, consider the other side.
Tip #1: Conflict isn’t about you
As a lawyer and judge, Thurgood Marshall fought for the protection of all citizens' rights. His accomplishments earned him the nickname "Mr. Civil Rights."
He rarely called his opponents evil; to him, most were just misguided.
Takeaway
As a CSM or business professional, it's easy to go into an argument with the goal of "winning at all costs."
But if you stop, think, and write the answer to the question, "How is other person misunderstanding the issue?" before a heated meeting, you have no choice but to look at things from their perspective.
It also helps you be 1) well-informed, 2) more understanding, and 3) turn the "argument" into a collaborative discussion.
Clock Management During An Argument
When an argument develops, you have to find your end destination as soon as possible. Otherwise, you end up talking in circles.
A straight line is your goal.
Tip #2 Claim the endgame
Around 10 p.m. the night before arguing Brown v. Board of Education, a student playing a Supreme Court justice asked Marshall a question that he couldn't answer. He said he was very angry, and he and his team worked late into the night to come up with a solution.
The next day, a Justice of the Supreme Court asked the same question that the student had asked the night before. Marshall was ready, and after a short pause, he "hit the court in the solar plexus" with his answer.
Takeaway
As a CSM or business professional, start by understanding 1) the other party's desired outcome and 2) get ready to share your anticipated response.
Don’t skirt or avoid the issue. Instead, lead with the end in mind by asking, “I’m guessing you’re frustrated, and just like myself, want a resolution here.”
Silence. Let them fill up the rest of the space and make sure they feel heard.
And after that, respond with “Appreciate you sharing that. I also want to leave us with [insert outcome]”
Faster communication lets you focus on what matters.
Ya boi / friend @ NLCS. That’s it for this week :)
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